My Favorite Mommy Moment?

I was asked recently by friend and fellow blogger, Laura from Thrifty in Pittsburgh, about my favorite mommy moment for a writing challenge. 

The more I thought about a mommy moment the more I came to realize that I don't have just one favorite mommy moment.  I don't like them all either but to pick just one is really hard.

There are moments that make me wonder why I am a parent.

Moments that send me to me knees.

How a Tiara Will Set You Apart From Every Other Mom

In honor of Tiara Day, "women celebrating being empowered, intelligent leaders in control of their own lives" while wearing actual or metaphysical tiaras, I bring to you a very special guest post from Mamma Cheryl. 

Cheryl is a mom to two under two and works full time.  She admitted to me one day that she wears the tiara from her wedding day on special occasions and I begged her to write about it.

Most people I encounter don't actually ask me about it, though their eyes do usually drift to the top of my head while in conversation.

Top 5 Things I Hate About Being a Woman...

I am absolutely stealing this from Martinis and Minivans...

My Top 5 Things I Hate About Being a Woman

1. Boob sweat

Martinis and Minivans put it as #5 and I putting at number #1.  It sucks.  I do use deodorant. 

2. Swollen Ankles and Feet

There is nothing pretty about seeing the impressions of my cute strappy sandals still on my feet when I take them off.

3. Migrains

I can't comprehend why the world won't stop when I have one.  I am not asking for long, just enough time to catch my breath.  And, by world I mean little people who n-e-e-d me and my man who needs me

4. Shaving arm pits

Who sees them but me, really, so why do I feel guilty when I forget to do it and wear a tank top?  I'm not sleeping with the person who may not like the look of it and at this particular point in our married life I think the husband is only looking at one area of my body at the time.  Sure, there will be a time again that shaving arm pits for him will be romantic again but I think we will both be happy if I used the time for a quicky then in the shower.

5. Cleaning

I hate it, I am not good at it, and I hate feeling like I need to be the one responsible for it. 

What's on your list?

The World Should Stop When Mom Gets Sick

The world should stop when mom gets sick because that is just the way it should be, right? Of course, that is not the case, but how cool would that be! Even if it was for a few hours just to get caught up on something, anything and not feel so damn behind.

When mom (or as it would happen me) gets sick the world keeps turning, money needs to flow in (and out), deadlines still need to be meet, homework still needs to be completed and bellies need to be feed. So on top of being sick it is easy to feel overwhelmed. Or at least I feel this way.

For the better part of the month everybody has been sick and we keep passing it around with the last two weeks being the worse. I have barely made it to work let alone out of bed but I feel that this experience has taught me something and has officially initiated us into the world of families with siblings.

I wanted to take the opportunity to share my top five (realistic) tactics I learned to deal with the world not being able to stop just because I had to be sick.

1. Ask for help damn it.

Put the oxygen on mask on and ask for help – even if it is from a kid that isn’t sick. We don’t have to do it all, that’s why most of us got married or agreed to live with another human being that we did not birth.

If you are really lucky and  you have a support system outside the confines of your home, use it! More power to you.

2. Take your medicine!

I am not a fan of OTC medicine but holy cow I have a whole new found respect for NyQuil and their entire line of medicine. Sure, I got a box of free medicine but you better believe I am a loyal fan now and will have it stocked year round.

3. Prioritize, Prioritize, Prioritize

The world may not have stopped but I sure did and when I was able to pick my head out of the toilet long enough to see what was going on I realized that I needed to get better and to do so meant to rest. Once I ventured back into the world, my next priorities were to make sure the family survived and that I still had a job. Sadly, my poor little blog got neglected.

4. Sanitize, Sanitize, Sanitize

And just when you think that you have not sanitized enough – do it some more.

5. Take your time.

There is really no rush to get back in the swing of things. Unless there is a rush to get back to the world and then take your vitamins and your DayQuil.


(This is not a sponsored post anymore for NyQuil, just glad to have had it on hand)

Okay... your turn!  What did I miss?

I Can Do It Myself, Mama!

I was told I was an independent child.  I was also informed that it hurt my mom's feelings that I wanted to do for myself all. of. the. time.  I am not surprised.  My mom is a cancer and it is in her nature to want to help others.

I, on the other hand, could not grasp why she was hurt.  I thought for sure she would celebrate my independence and see it as a testament of good parenting.  This does not apply to the toddler me.  Even if I had a boo-boo I would rather be alone and nurse my wound.   I am not surprised.  I am like this now.

Knowing this, you would think that I would not be surprised to hear, “Mama, let ME do it!” come out of Baby’s mouth with damn near everything she does.

I can't say that my feelings were hurt but I was certainly taken by surprise.  I expected independence but at two?  What can you do for yourself at two years old?!!?  Well, apparently everything and anything!  Her independence also made me realize how much I did for my son when he was a toddler.  Part of it was because it is just easier to do than let do for himself but the bigger part was personality.  This is still the case and I am constantly reassuring him that he can in fact do {insert any  activity here} for himself.

Baby, on the other hand, not only wants to do for herself but whole heartily insists that she can and should do for herself.  And, I am not talking using a fork or brushing her teeth but more advanced like wanting to make grilled cheese sandwiches, buckle her own seat-belt and dress herself (even after I already got her dressed).  This is all well and good until she hurts herself or makes me late for work. 

SHE IS TWO for goodness sakes! 

I know I should be grateful and certainly I do love that she wants to do for her self but does she have to be so damn mean about it.  Instead of, "I can do it, mommy," this switch flips, her eyes turn red, flames shot from her finger tips and it goes more like "I WILL DO IT MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!"

From swinging on the big kid's swing to putting on her own coat, hat and boots, Baby can do so much and yet she has not interest in using the potty!  Insanity I say, insanity!

Taking a Bite Out of Bullying

As we were driving home from the sitters last night, my usually chatty first grader (aka Goofy) was kinda quiet and when he did talk, he mumbled.  It was driving me nuts.  I finally got him to tell me what was wrong but I could not, for the life of me, figure out what he was saying. 

It was so mumbled that I could only make out "bite" and "Mruruhfa."  So I asked him, "What in the world is a Mruruhfa?!?!" (confession: I may have been more colorful and he did pronounce the boy's name right it is just one of those that sounds like someone made it up.)

"A boy in my class."

"Oh."

Apparently, a boy in his class was making fun of Goofy for mixing up she with he.  He has had a problem with using he when he meant she since he started talking.  He has gotten much better but forgets when he is excited.

However, the process of teasing my first grader, included the boy shaking his finger in my Goofy's face.

So, Goofy bit him.

He was so ashamed he could hardly get the words out to tell me what he did wrong.

I laughed.

There was no note from the teacher.  He said, she must have forgot.

On one hand, I wish he would have not bit him because, A.) it's gross, who knows where that finger was and B.) I would prefer he find a better solution to the boy's teasing then physically assaulting the boy.

On the other hand, I am glad he has finally stood up for himself AND he felt bad for doing what he did and how he did it.  He promised he would not bite again.

Dad's response?

Ice cream for dinner!

Top 10 things I said I would never do with my kid...

I was talking to a colleague last week about her pregnancy.  It is her first and she has some pretty strong views on what she will and will not do as a mother.

Talking to her brought back all the wonderful plans I had before I had children on how I was going to do things with my baby and then I had him and I found myself doing all the things I said I would never do - sigh.

How naive I was way back then (all five six years ago)...  My colleague was actually discussing core beliefs, which I did keep and I am sure she will keep but I was remembering all the things that I was just certain I would never do with my kid! Ha!

Top 10 Things I Said I Would Never do with My Kid(s) but Did them Anyway

1.    Make separate dinners

All though this is not the first "rule" I broke it was my top no-no.  There was no way in hell I was going to make separate meals.  My kids will eat what I give them or they won't eat at all.  Thing is - he won't eat.  At all.  He would drink his milk and be done. 

Forget trying to get him to eat meat, too.  Won't happen.  He tries it, now, every so often but my son does not like to eat meat, especially red meat.  He tolerates chicken and turkey but he would rather eat veggies, cheese and fruit.  Ironically, he loves turkey smokies and salami but that is where he draws the line. I can't say that I blame him. 

He decided that he was going to try fried chicken and he ate all the skin off of it.  I then explained and then demonstrated how to eat the rest of it, pointing out the meat and how it tears away from the bone... we are freakin' barbarians!  Not going vegan, but all the same I see why he thinks his all meta is gross.

2.    Sippy, pacifier or bottle past a certain age

The Husband was anti-pacifiers and I was anti-bottles (especially at night) but... because our son did not (or would not) use a pacifier for long and got hooked on using his bottle and then sippy for comfort - I caved putting my foot down and taking it away.  I figured he would give it up when he was ready and I did not want to stress out over taking it away.  For whatever reason, he needed it and at each stage be it pacifier, bottle or sippy - when he was ready to part with it he did.


He used the pacifier for about two months, then the bottle before he graduated to a sippy cup.  He would not do anything before he was ready and when he was done, he was done.  In the case of his sippy - he threw it in the trash one day.  He could use a cup, but he wanted his sippy. 

3.    I will not dress my baby in pink

And, I tried really hard not to dress baby in pink but, we got a lot of hand me downs and everything was pink.  Could not be helped.  I am not crazy.  Free, good quality clothes is not something to pass up.  Now... she always grabs for the pinkest, frilliest dress she can grab - sigh.  Did I mention she has to have a purse, too?

4.    Join preschool PTA

A PTA for preschool?  Ha!  Yea, I joined and I am still being made fun of by friends who knew me when I could not change a diaper and broke out in hives when they asked me to hold their baby.  A lot changed over the (last eight) years.

5.    Have a half done baby book

Okay, maybe not half done... I finished his the first grader's first year and I am still working on his second year book, but I did a review on the one I made for the baby's... sans any milestone info.  ugh.

6.    Co-sleep

Co-sleeping, shared bed, family bed, attachment parenting... not. going. to. do. that.  Ha!  Double Ha!  Not only do I co-sleep (still, she is 15 months) but I wore both my kids everywhere.  Who knew there was a name for it?  I just knew I hated the stroller and it is easier to sleep when I can roll over to nurse instead of getting up, out of bed to do it.

7.    Have a TV in kids room

Call me crazy but the kids room is for sleeping, but since our apartment was not big enough for a play room and I am not watching Noogin (now Nick Jr.) any more then I have to.  I know.  Bad mommy for letting my kids watch TV but I have seen what kids are like when they are denied TV all together...  Now that we will have a house the TV will be in the playroom but I don't think I would do it differently if I had to do over again. 

9.    Have more toys then books

This still makes my heart hurt a little. Sure they have a lot of books but, alas, toys out number them.

10.  Take baby to church every week

I decided I was going to be that crazy lady, that takes her kids, screaming or not to church every week.  Until I did.  Usually, okay, always by myself.  My parents had each other to help with the kids during mass.  The Husband is not Catholic and he is usually at work.  I teach PSR (it is like Sunday School) to make up for it.

I had so many good intentions.  Despite my good intentions I don't think I paved the way to hell, yet, and I would not change anything on this... maybe the church one but that is more good old fashion guilt then anything else.


Do you agree with anything (or everything) on my list?  Have a list of your own or maybe just one to share? Did you write your own post about this or like it?  Feel free to share in the comments!  I want to hear about it.

Snow day!

My first official snow day as a parent of a kindergartner.

It would have been a lot better if I was not woken with a tap, tap, tap, tap on my cheek followed by "Can I watch a movie?"

me: "NO"

I am awake for the rest of the day.  Visions of laying in bed, lazily watching movies is replaced by Goofy dancing, running and stomping around the living room while the Bebe laughs.

Later that night we are playing Memory and Goofy wants to win... even if that means cheating.  After several attempts to correct him and after several mini tantrums I tell him I don't want to play with him anymore and he "sucks" for cheating.

He then proceeds to "sign" I don't love you and I ignore him pretending to play the game by myself - maturity has gone out the window for me.  When I don't respond to this he gets in my ear telling me he does not love me... I am not sure if I want to laugh out loud at this or just cry as I keep ignoring him.

When he does not get that it is in his best interest to leave I turn to him and say, "Go. To. Your. Room" with enough venom he goes without saying much but a whimper, "okay, I love you"  sigh.

He stays in his room.  I am so hurt I can not even talk to him.  I really wanted to slap him.  Okay, maybe not but I had to keep reminding myself that he is only a child, he is only feeling this one emotion and we have been locked up in the house all weekend, he is just bored...

I hear him crying and send the Husband to check on him.  He wet the bed.  He had laid down in bed and fell asleep and wet the bed.  My heart broke.  The Husband cleaned him up as he was hyperventilating.  He got on the couch with me and he said he was sorry.  When I asked him why he was so mean to me he said "because you said I sucked."

Very bad mommy moment.

Who has two thumbs and was a bad mommy this weekend...?

Who has two thumbs and was a bad mommy this weekend...?

...this mommy and I am not to proud of myself.

I read awhile back, some article that the new spanking is yelling and I think I do that.  I think I scare my sweet boy just as much yelling at him as threatening to spank him.

I am not anti-spanking just anti-spanking when angry; so I never spank. Typing that I know it sounds strange but I grew up in house where you hit first ask questions later and I was scared of my father and not in the "I respect him now" way but in a "I resent you and wish I can tell you" way.

My brother adopted that technique after my father died and I refuse to do it now.  I am also a little scared of my own temper.  Needless to say... I yell and this weekend seems like that was all I did.  Worse of all -  I start of normal and like a light switch I scream.  There is no warm up.  No warning.  I just let it all out.

I also find that when I have particularly bad episodes of yelling, my Goofy gets extra clingy followed by a nice bought of constipation.  I try not to let him see that he gets to me and try to find other ways to parent and get my point across but I end up yelling.  The biggest issue is he just does not focus and can not seem to follow directions.  I can say over and over again the simplest direction and he looks at me like I am speaking Klingon.  The thing is... I KNOW he does not respond to yelling and, yet, I still do it.

I also know that I have to have his attention before giving instructions otherwise all is lost.  I can't even blame it on the TV because more often then not it is not on when I am trying to get him to do something.  He drifts away in his head and it is infuriating.

His new way of getting out of something is to say he is tired and that maybe he should go to his room!  Ha!  Tired my arse!  After the umpteenth time yelling at him to pick up his freakin legos I told him fine... go to bed and that is what he did... 2:00 in the afternoon and he went to bed.  He went to bed!  Grrr...

Goofy has also taken to expressing his dislike of me through sign language...  if I ask him to do something and he says no he writes the letters in the air... N... O... and if he is really upset it is this -

That's right folks it is "I love you" upside down... where does he get this?  That is better then just saying that he does not like mommy time anymore... almost cried with that one... sigh

Maybe he is not getting as much attention as he did before the baby sister was born.  It is a fact.  He does not get as much attention as he did before Bebe.  At least he is not one of those bratty kids that try to smother their new sibling with a pillow.  He is very proud of her.  The older she gets thought, he gets even less attention and I think it is starting to bother him.  She has that cute factor that he has and gets attention for and now she is getting the attention but he waits patiently until it his turn to get his share.  For how long that lasts is anyone's guess.  They both seem to thrive off attention and will gladly "perform" to get it.  I love that about both of them and hope that it means that we are doing a good job and that they will turn out to be confident adults.

Now if I can just stop yelling...