Ode to Scary Mommy's Confessional

As a mom we are pulled in so many directions that it can be overwhelming and what’s worse is the pressure we put upon ourselves to be the perfect version of the mom that we have created in our minds.

It is easy to feel alone with that much pressure. Sure you can discuss it with girlfriends, mothers or spouses but we don’t always do it, call it fear of failure or need to be in control.

Of course, some of us have a blog and get that instant gratification of sharing our stories with the hope of connecting with like minded souls. It is because of my blog that I found Scary Mommy and in honor of her I am going to share my mommy confessions.

My Top 5 Scary Confessions

One

I will neglect my family to watch reruns of Doctor Who (or Torchwood).

Two

I have read Fifty Shades of Grey on the playground at a school sponsored event. Not sure which is the confession – the fact that I read Fifty Shades of Grey (the whole series) or that other parents now know that I read it.

Three

My three year old daughter occasionally calls people dumb ass and sometimes she is right so I don’t correct her.

Four

There have been nights, when the baby would not stop screaming and I could not soothe her that I had to stop myself from grabbing my keys and leaving.

Five

When my husband works over night shifts, I go to bed when the kids go to bed. It is as early as 8:00 PM when there is school or as late as 10:00 PM when I just don’t care. Of course, regardless of when I go to bed I am up three hours later and won’t go back to sleep until an hour before my alarm is do to go off.

Care to confess your scary mommy confession?

Don’t forget to enter to win tickets to see Scary Mommy in person on June 30 in Cleveland, OH. All proceeds of the event will go towards the Agnon School.

Friday Friends... My Confession.

I have yet to have a really long lasting friendship with a woman.  I really want to have one but I am not a good girlfriend.  I have guys that are friends, but they are all gay or in a relationship.

It dates back to my first serious boyfriend in my twenties.  He was bad for me.  He was really bad for me on so many levels.  And it was because of him that I distanced myself from many of my girlfriends - my girlfriends were right.  They held on to their reassessment that I did not listen or that I was a bad friend and would not answer my calls after it was over.  I guess they were really not my friends.

My other set of girlfriends drink and they party.  Not that I am against drinking by any stretch of the imagination but they don't have kids or if they do they have grandparents or a  baby daddy to dump the kids with while they drink to access.  I don't drink that much anymore and one to many,  "I can't because..." excuses got me knocked off the phone tree.  I hope when the girls without kids have kids I will make the list again.

This is so not a pity party for me...  I have good girlfriends.  Some have moved away while others, well, others I just can't stand to be around because it is not a give and take relationship.  I can only hear so much about someone's drama without them asking about my life or family.  Then there are the wonderful friendships that I have sort of put on hold because of being pregnant (and stressed) and having the baby (and lack of sleep and stress).  I only hope that now that the bebe is almost a year and I am starting to feel like me again I will not have ruined the friendships (again).

I have learned from being a bad friend, learned to let go of friends who just aren't friends and learned that some people really are only in your life for a short amount of time.  I also really need to pick up the phone more often and reach out to those who I have lost touch with over the years.