That Post I Never Published About Vaginas

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When baby girl was first starting to use the potty she was a year and a half. She wasn't actually using it but she would ask to go after the fact. That lasted a month.

At two, baby girl asked to use the potty and would sit there for a few minutes, asked to be wiped and went off to play. And, then she would dirty her diaper.  That lasted a month and then she asked to wear panties.  That lasted a day.

I had started writing a blog post about how easy it was for baby girl to be trained to use the potty. I never got to finish it. She was not easy, she did not want to use the potty when she should and it would take another year and a half for her to be diaper free.

I had suspected that when it was time she would just use the potty. I was right but wrong on the time frame.

On the day that baby girl consented to wearing panties I came across this post: Sex vs. Character: What Do We Teach Our Girls?  by Lisa Belkin.. It referenced the HuffPost Parents article that ran a letter from an 8-year-old titled "Why Being A Girl Is Wonderful."

Written on a legal pad in rounded kid penmanship, it radiated pride: "We have veginas. We get jobs. We are creative. We have stuff that makes us pregnet. We have milk in our bobes. We are smart. We have power."

The post I never published was going to honor her accomplishment and her womanhood in some way.  I wanted to express to her that she owned her vagina and I would refuse to call it by any other cutesy name that was designed to inspire embarrassment instead of pride.  I never published that post.

I did eventually go on to write two posts about potty training - one expressing my distress and the other celebrating that it finally happened. So I guess I did post it, eventually, but it was not the roar inspiring one I had intended.

Do you have a post you never published or one you would like to write?

My 5 Favorite Words

As parents we look forward to many milestones, first smile, first walk, the first time they tell us they hate us… But, there is that moment in every parent’s life that you finally get to hear words that you so desperately wanted to hear. These words roll out of their sweet little mouths with such pride and excitement that it will make your eyes water. And these words come when you have given up all hope that you would ever hear them.

Those five little words never get old and their meaning never diminishes. I am so ridiculously thrilled each and every time I hear them spoken out loud. They usually come out in a rush so it is more like “MommyIwenttothepotty!” But those wonderful words make me so happy.

It has been a challenge to get Baby Girl to use the toilet.  She knew how, she just wouldn't. I went from begging to bribery to crying in a vain attempt to get her to pee on the potty.

How pray tell did I get our willful child to use the potty - ice cream for dinner. 

Yes, you read correctly. If she filled up a row on her sticker chart she could have ice cream for dinner. We went to the store, bought poster board in her favorite color, bought ice cream stickers and I drew boxes (and a caricature of her) on the poster board.  Every time she went on the potty she got a sticker and each line had another box to make getting the ice cream more challenging.

Mind you I did not actually give her just ice cream for dinner. She really just had dessert first. If she was still hungry (and she always was) she ate dinner.

The point is it’s been a few weeks now and I can honestly say – she is using the potty. Except that is for pooping, but one bodily function at a time.

Yes Baby, That is a Vagina...

 “Yes Baby, that is called a vagina and you wipe from front to back.” To which she promptly wiped her butt.

Why is potty training so h-a-r-d?

It seems I have forgotten how hard it was to potty train her older brother. I also seem to have forgotten how we actually accomplished training him to use the potty. I do remember how horrible it was for the whole pooping on the potty bit because he is chronically constipated but the other part, the part where he used the toilet to pee is the part I wish I could remember and how we did it.

Not that remembering would make any difference because what works for him will most certainly not work for baby girl.

Admittedly, I actually thought that baby girl using the toilet would come easy to her, like walking and talking. She showed all the signs of wanting to learn and then – nothing. This process has repeated itself several times over the last two years. Just when I think this is the moment she will never wear diapers again she laughs at me and says, “oh, mommy.”

I know that she will not be going to kindergarten in diapers so I am really not that stressed.  She will use the potty in her own time.  I'm just tired of changing diapers.

I really should be glad that she is finally weaning herself and sleeping in her bed – most nights. It is only logical that this is the next step in her becoming a big girl. Right? Am I asking for too much?  Maybe I am pressuring her to much?  Eh, whatever, she wants to do this.  Right?

I have come to hate the term “potty training.” 

I have tried rewards, from stickers to M&Ms and even a toy chest. Go potty – get a toy. She has not gotten a toy, yet.

My sister gave her the cutest panties for her birthday which she promptly put on and went through the whole package in one afternoon, never making it to the bathroom.

I took her shopping for panties and let her pick out whatever ones she wanted. And the same scenario as my sister’s panties played out.

I have even bribed her with dance lessons. She wants to take ballet and she can’t until she can use the potty all of the time. I am also using those really cute bathing suits she loves as incentive. Bikinis look really silly with a diaper.  Did I mention the books, DVDs and dolls?

Oh, how I wish they were just born with the ability to use the toilet.

I guess if you buy into the whole infant potty training process they are born with the ability and we train them to use the diaper. Adopting this thinking now would mean I would need a time machine to travel back in time and would probably have to go on leave from job because I am not sure my sitter would be up for the task.

For now, we are trying those pull up diapers and those padded training underwear. She has yet to tell me when she has to use the toilet. I could try taking her every 30 minutes but that would mean I would have to remember and I suppose those cute potty watches would work well in this instance but do I really want to flush any more money down the toilet?

I also suppose learning her cues would be helpful but honestly the only clue she seems to have is for when she is pooping and if I am not paying attention I miss that she is hiding, because she is hiding.

Oh, the woes of having a toddler on the brink of preschoolhood. 

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